so powerful
so sorrowful
such nonsense
yet invincable
errors made
dues thought paid
likes to haunt
my nights and days
two daughters
lives still very new
for me to say
it’s all on you
brings guilt
each day
from miles away
i feel the pull
should we have stayed
though unfulfilled
with life that way
do they feel i ran away?
a mother now lies
in the grave
cause in my care
i finally caved
turned broken back
on promises made
life with sister
not a fit
six months passed
and that was it
eternal guilt
refusing to fade
choices chosen
choices made
friendships gone
that lasted years
cut the lines
shed the tears
some returned
some stayed lost
some great change
comes at great cost
have i lived a selfish life
could i be a better wife
better mother
better friend
better giver
all around
guilt weighs heavy
on my heart
i wish that it
and i
could part
but guilt’s
not going anywhere
it’s like a heavy cloak
i wear
wish that i
could cast it off
forget my failures
ignore the loss
free myself
from its great weight
seek more love
release self-hate
fuck off!, guilt
i’d like to scream
rip off that cloak
tear at its seams
i’ve done the best
i could have done
imperfect world
imperfect one
maybe the years
will lessen the load
free me from guilt
fuck off, as it’s told
but for now
i’ll carry it forth
try to do better
remember self-worth
and seek a life focused
away from such hurt
