Within Close Range: Florida Days – the teen years

Driving from the airport

to a new winter retreat – 

a 20 story high-rise in Pompano Beach –

it’s clear things aren’t as they have been.

Gone are the Mid-Century neighborhoods 

with small, tidy bungalows 

and pastel-colored apartment complexes. 

Gone are the small, neat streets 

crammed with big, American cars 

and the quiet, inland canals 

with their 90 degree curves.

Modern high-rises now loom along the coast, 

casting long shadows over these old ghosts.

Smothered by “The Strip”, 

a popular stretch of beach –

and the only way to their new place,-

Nonna and Papa are forced to face

nubile, bikini-clad, beer drinking youth 

balanced precariously between child and adult

unkempt, 

half-naked 

all god-forsaken. 

But Gina and I crave this uncharted world, 

which we’re slowly cruising past 

in the back seat of a tightly sealed Cadillac, 

filled with the sounds of Perry Como 

and the smell of Jean Nate.

The closer we get to Nonna and Papa’s, 

the older the demographics begin to slant,

until beers and bikinis are soon replaced 

by beer bellies and Platex bras.

The upside to the new zip code 

is a bigger abode – 

and a separate door to the outside world –

or at least to a corridor,

and an unused stairwell.

To Marlboro Lights 

and poorly rolled joints, 

and late night escapades with girls from New York.

Gone are our grandparents’ halcyon days 

of minding their ways.

These are the carefree days of youth. 

Of baby oil and B-52s.

Getting stoned in the sauna. 

Drinking beers on the beach.

Somehow convincing Nonna 

to hand us the keys.

Of cranking up the radio

and rolling down the windows

to inhale the salty air

and the sweet smell 

of being newly licensed. 

Of boys on the beach noticing us 

and Nonna – 

from high above –

noticing them, noticing us.

These are the Florida days 

of pushing boundaries, 

especially ones so poorly guarded.

Well past our very strict curfew.

Nonna is waiting and bleak.

She’s worked herself into such a state,

she’s lifted off her bunioned feet.

She cross-examines, 

reprimands, 

and threatens to send us home; 

then leads us in to Papa 

in the unlit living room, 

Leaden and pacing. 

My heart is breaking.

When all is said – 

which isn’t much – 

he turns his back 

and sends us to bed. 

The first thing we see in the morning

taped prominently to the fridge

is a newspaper clip with a giant headline, 

“Girls Found Charred on Beach”,

and Nonna, 

with her back to us.

Sighing and tsk-ing, 

but not saying anything.

Until behind closed bedroom doors, 

on an all-day call with her sister, Rose,

we can hear her tell of all her woes; 

heralded, at times, in a pitch so high, 

dogs throughout the high-rise begin to cry.

This leads to quieter Florida days, 

of shorter visits 

and solo stays.

Now more observer than the observed; 

studying Nonna and Papa 

in their Florida world.

In their well-aged routine of marital malaise.

Wondering if I know what a happy marriage is?

Hours of watching old ladies by the pool; 

with their sun hats and cigarettes 

and bad romance books;

their games of Canasta, 

and over-tanned skin… 

wondering if any 

were ever really young?

When Papa leaves to tend to the store, 

it’s hours of Gin Rummy, 

and little more.

Alone with Nonna, 

playing round after round 

on the windy, high-rise balcony, 

sixteen floors from the ground.

Where 8-track cassettes 

of Liberace and Lawrence Welk 

teach me tolerance, 

and the importance of a wickedly good game face.

Happy to see the rainy skies. 

Happy to stay indoors 

and in our nightgowns.

The condo is especially quiet. 

No washing machine 

or television 

reminding us of other things. 

Other lives.

No dinner out 

or big meal in.

We barely move. 

Rarely talk.

Occasionally, Nonna disappears, 

returning with something powdery and sweet

or cheesy and crusty

and hot from the oven.

Such deliciously quiet moments 

of simply doing nothing.

Oh these my Florida days.

Within Close Range: Florida Days – the early years

It’s a small, but airy, two bedroom 

built at the corner of an inland canal; 

brightly decorated in yellows, greens, blues and whites, 

and perpetually shaded from the Sunshine State.

A peculiar land of tropical scents 

and strikingly unfamiliar sights. 

Far removed from the only place I know at night,

home.

Put to bed too early, 

I lie in the sitting room-turned-my-room, 

tossing and turning on the lumpy sofa-bed

for what seems like hours and hours on end.

Listening intensely to the sounds of apartment living

made especially audible by the glass-vented door

opening onto the curved building’s exterior hall.

My slatted portals to an unknown world. 

To the sounds of the apartment people 

returning from the pool, 

the shops, 

the grocers, 

dinner out.

Of doorbells ringing 

and little feet skipping, 

hugs and kisses 

and friendly greetings; 

of moist, briny winds 

carrying the scents 

of jasmine and orange blossoms,

and parking lot asphalt.

The smell of ladies’ perfumes 

as they stroll past my door.

The echo of laughter in the nearby stairwell 

and their happy words

which disappear 

with the sudden click of a heavy car door.

Murmurs from the living room TV 

add to this strange symphony,

with familiar sounds 

and flickering lights 

that seep through the bottom of the door, 

casting short, cryptic shadows 

on the thickly carpeted, 

recently vacuumed floor.

Comforting is the knowledge 

that Papa is in the room next door. 

Feet up, 

arms folded high across his belly, 

and a large RC Cola at his side. 

Grinning at Clem Kadiddlehopper, 

or growling at the Chicago Bears.

When Papa finally turns the television off,

I lie in the still and unfamiliar dark.  

The inland water’s slow, buoyant motion, 

lulls me into a deep and scented slumber.

until the morning,

when I linger on the lumpy mattress 

and listen to the apartment people 

begin their days. 

Wooed by the sounds of others stirring,

I stretch toward kitchen utensils clanking

and the smells of breakfast cooking 

on the other side of the wall.

Oh these, my Florida days.

Of sand slipping away beneath my tiny feet,

and seashell hunts as the sun dips low; 

of Nonna’s curled and bunioned toes 

and skinny, seagull legs 

dipping into the foamy waves, 

but never past her knees. 

These early days of sunset walks 

along a stretch of beach 

that leads to a lighthouse 

and a creaky, tottering wharf 

where Papa likes to take a walk. 

And I like to walk with him. 

Where fishing boats have funny names 

and a tiny gift shop, 

in a weather-beaten shanty, 

sells orange gum-balls 

packed in little, wooden crates

which Papa buys for his little, Pie-Face.

Of bright, green lizards 

skittering across pastel walls, 

and pats on the head 

by terrycloth clad men 

playing cards in the shade of umbrellas. 

Where suntanned women 

with the giant bosoms 

and ever-blooming swim caps 

wade in the shallow end, 

with big, dentured smiles 

for the little one visiting Lenore.

Oh these, my Florida days.

Within Close Range: Papa’s Store

As buildings begin to replace trees along the Edens Expressway, I watch for familiar signs that we’re getting nearer Papa’s store.

Up ahead, on the right, stands Nickey (with a backward k), a giant, winking, smokestack of a man urging motorists to take the next exit for their very own, souped-up Chevrolet. 

The first downtown-bound sentry means twenty minutes more. 

Further along the constantly changing horizon, the magnificent, cherry red, neon lips of Magikist – 80 ft. high and puckering up for passersby for years – appears on the left, dazzling and hypnotic, garishly separating the suburbs from the city; the quiet and conventional, from the wonder and the chaos. 

Fifteen more minutes. 

At the very edge of the highway, around the next bend, looms the monster of a Morton Salt building and a great expanse of roof (almost level with the highway) painted with it’s iconic logo. I like to count how many seconds its takes to pass this massive, salt-filled warehouse.

And the girl in the yellow dress, with her big umbrella and box of Morton’s.

One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand…

… until it disappears from the smudged rear window.

Ten minutes more. 

Taking the next exit, we’re no longer speeding past the inner-city scenery, no longer isolated from the purposeful sprawl, but entering the industrial grime of Ohio Street’s massive warehouse district, desolate and dingy; where faded ads cling to crumbling brick walls and vast stretches of soot-stained windows lay dark and broken along shadowed streets, gray, cracked and worn from the Windy City’s daily grind.

I sink in my seat and cautiously scan the familiar but frightening streets for signs of trouble. My uneasiness arising from the barely discernible (except for the simultaneous “click”), but habitual practice Mom has of locking the doors before the first red light. 

Only after old brownstones and young professionals replace storehouses and seedy-looking characters, do I straighten up and welcome the city outside the window.

The constant beep of car horns trying to hurry along traffic below the tall buildings and shadowed streets. The constant movement of people of all types – not just well-off and white.

The dingy beads of water from the elevated tracks and platforms that plop, trickle and disappear down the window of the station wagon and tell me we’re very near.

Dressed in our Sunday best, fermenting with the pent up energy forty-five minutes in close quarters guarantees, our restless tribe is led in a disorderly row, through the perennially cold, dark, parking structure and onto the city streets. 

One block down and around the corner, to Michigan Avenue, I know to look for the red and gold awning (between the fancy shoe store and even fancier department store). 

As soon as I spot it, I pick up my pace until reaching the revolving door of Papa’s store, Celano Custom Tailors.

Squeezing my way into the pie-shaped divisions and forced to spin a circle and a half – by a sibling pushing the rotating door too fast – I stumble onto a sea of cardinal red carpet.

Impeccably clean. 

Incredibly lush.

At the end of the long, narrow showroom, past smartly dressed salesmen and bolts of rich fabric, stands Papa. 

Smiling quietly. 

Waiting to give his warm, well-pressed, fragrant hugs to each of his progeny.

After which, he gently, but hastily, scoots all five of us to the back of the store. Away from the immaculate glass cabinet displays of silk ties, colorful ascots and men’s colognes. 

Away from the meticulously stacked cashmere sweaters, and roll after roll of expensive Italian wools, French cottons and Irish linens. Keeping us well clear of the handsome, silk robes neatly hung on racks with red, wood hangers, custom-stamped in gold.

Most of all, we are whisked away from his well-to-do clientele in their very expensive, custom suits, custom shirts and spit shine shoes.

But my interest lies down a narrow set of stairs, in the windowless world below; where little men, with measuring tapes hung around their necks and giant scissors in their hands, bend over large, long work tables, spread with dark wools and shimmering silks.

They always stop and smile, exclaiming how much we’ve all grown, but my attention is on what’s behind the glass partition where Papa’s bookkeeper works, and in the bottom drawer, at the side of her desk, piled high with ledgers.

As soon as I reach her side, she bends toward the drawer with her piled-high hair.

Casting a shadow over her bookkeeping.

And from it she takes out a full box of Turtles – chocolate and caramel and pecans in a gooey, luscious mound. 

Papa’s favorite. 

And mine. 

In our silent ritual, I smile and thank the bee-hived bookkeeper and choose a turtle from the box, before being pushed by an impatient sibling next in line.

Permitted back upstairs only after all hands have been inspected, we’re led to Papa’s office where Jim plays boss with the many-buttoned telephone on the large, leather- topped desk. Until he dials the storefront and annoys the staff and Papa appears with playing cards and store stationary, and a gentle warning. 

Stop fidgeting. 

With Mom and Dad still shopping, we begin to take turns spying on the front of the store, watching the elegant dance of silent footsteps, hushed tones and controlled smiles in full-length mirrors. Making me feel as if I’m witnessing something sacred in the tending of well-to-do gentleman.

As if an ascension.

Until Jim discovers the stereo and starts pushing buttons. 

Shattering the sober storefront with an unexpected symphony. 

Instantly paroled from our conference room confinement, we race along the heavily padded, red carpeting, past the quiet clerks and perfect displays, and bolts and bolts, of dark, rich fabric.

Past Papa, who flinches when our many-footed exit shakes the cabinets.

And ruffles his clients. 

Michigan Avenue is an eruption of motion and commotion, which we’re swept up in, until we find ourselves among the tourists and the toilers at the base of the very new John Hancock Center.

Pressing my hands and body against its cool, black steel, I look skyward, trying to see the skyscraper’s top. Struggling to keeping my balance.

It makes me dizzy and suddenly anxious to see the red and gold awning. 

And the thick, red carpeting.

And Papa’s outstretched arms, for one last hug, before returning north. 

Past the giant girl in the yellow dress. 

Past the giant, neon lips, now lighting the early evening skies with its rosy red glow. 

Past the smokestack man disappearing in the dusk.

To the quiet woods. 

To the dark skies.

To home.