Sleep evades me
sleep can’t save me
toss and turns me
makes me taut
choices made
outcomes shade
any happiness I’ve saught
life has a way
on too many days
of kicking me to the ground
ever impatient
tired of waiting
for all i think I’ve earned
not seeing clearly
what to hold most dearly
is the life already found
but here’s the thing
what nightime brings
is darkness full of doubts
did my impatience
invite trepidation
which attends me all night long
sleep evades me
sleep won’t save me
from this recurring haunt
that my willful, skillful selfness
forces herculean lessons
yet leaves me lonely, feeling helpless
for this false and mean obsession
needing things a certain way
will beat me up day after day
and tear my tender heart in two
keeping me further from the truth
but i keep trying
no more lying
that I’m understanding all
one year older
no more closer
to making the unfettered call
second-guessing
always messing
with the good of status quo
ever searching
ever lurching
toward the things I do not know
sleep evades me
sleep won’t save me
from the choices that I make
so I’ll write it
best not to fight it
take the give
and give the take
Dog-eared Stories 