Guilt

so powerful

so sorrowful

such nonsense

yet invincable

errors made

dues thought paid

likes to haunt

my nights and days

two daughters

lives still very new

for me to say

it’s all on you

brings guilt

each day

from miles away

i feel the pull

should we have stayed

though unfulfilled

with life that way

do they feel i ran away?

a mother now lies

in the grave

cause in my care

i finally caved

turned broken back

on promises made

life with sister

not a fit

six months passed

and that was it

eternal guilt

refusing to fade

choices chosen

choices made

friendships gone

that lasted years

cut the lines

shed the tears

some returned

some stayed lost

some great change

comes at great cost

have i lived a selfish life

could i be a better wife

better mother

better friend

better giver

all around

guilt weighs heavy

on my heart

i wish that it

and i

could part

but guilt’s

not going anywhere

it’s like a heavy cloak

i wear

wish that i

could cast it off

forget my failures

ignore the loss

free myself

from its great weight

seek more love

release self-hate

fuck off!, guilt

i’d like to scream

rip off that cloak

tear at its seams

i’ve done the best

i could have done

imperfect world

imperfect one

maybe the years

will lessen the load

free me from guilt

fuck off, as it’s told

but for now

i’ll carry it forth

try to do better

remember self-worth

and seek a life focused

away from such hurt

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Author: Anne Celano Frohna

I have been writing for as long as I could hold a pencil in hand and would not feel complete without it. And I actually made a meager living at it (and as an editor) for 25 years. I worked for newspapers and magazines, in graphic arts and advertising, and wrote several local history books. But I have also taught English in Japan, been a Nanny/family chef in Italy, worked in and for museums, was an Airbnb Superhost for four years, as well as an Etsy shop owner, where I sold vintage items I found over the years at thrift stores and yard sales. After moving to Arizona with my family in 2010, I completed a series of different writing projects, including two books of creative non-fiction: Just West of the Midwest: a comedy (Based on journals I kept during my two years as an English teacher in rural Japan.) Within Close Range: short stories of an American Childhood (Short stories and poems about growing up as the middle of five children in suburban Chicago.) But in the past few years, I have found my voice in poetry. I am a mother of two wonderful girls, Eva (26) and Sophia (24) and wife to one wonderful husband, Kurt. In 2023, with our girls grown and off on their own, my husband and I packed up our things and moved to the tip of Italy’s heel, to the Salento region, where I continue to work on my poetry, as well as a new fiction project, and indulge in my passion for mosaics - all of which you can view on my Instagram page @ acfrohna.