I’ll be brief.
I deflowered a virgin.
I’m ashamed to admit that it’s all a bit blurry. It happened during a recent night of carousing in Shintomi with some friends. I met a young man (legal age – at least I think so), Kenji, who was in this local bar WITH HIS DAD.
It all began innocently enough.
There was a little flirting.
There was a little dancing.
There was, of course, a lot of drinking.
And the next thing I knew – despite the cautions from his dad not to fall prey to the wicked, wanton, Western woman – the young man left the bar with me. We went to another bar with my friends, but the two of us eventually ended up at my apartment where he confessed his purity.
Maybe I felt as if I had total control for the first time in my sexual life. Perhaps I was a little drunk – not only on alcohol, but with the carnal power I had over this young innocent.
I can’t defend it. Or even excuse it, for that matter.
I can just confess that I took full advantage of it with little concern for what would follow.
The next evening, Kenji returned to my apartment with an armful of stuffed animals he’d spent the entire day trying to win at a local arcade and the hopes that we would repeat last night’s performance. However, I was hungover and sick with shame over my overtly brazen behavior.
I did invite him in, but only to explain, as gently as I could, that there would be no repeat of last night’s activities. He was so very, very, VERY sweet and so very excited about his first foray into manhood that it was hard to refuse his gentle entreaties.
Probably because in the light of the new day, he suddenly seemed so very, very young.
He eventually left. Broken-hearted.
And I, having returned from my power trip, was all that remained.
Repentant and miserable.